writekaryn

I haven’t written a blog in awhile, at least not a serious one.  This is a quiet little space in the world, and I only get a few visitors.  I used to be regularly inspired by the writings of others and sort of got addicted to blogging, so I quit my other blog in favor for this one.  No inspiration, no writing.  Today I am inspired…by my boyfriend.  He writes.  That’s actually how we became friends which after awhile turned into something more.  I don’t know if one would call our story a fairy tale.  We met at the mall.  Later he found me on myspace and quietly but consistently pursued me for friendship for a year or two or somewhere in between.  I remember noticing, even though I had no interest in him, that he and I were very similar.  We had both at one point signed up for eharmony and were matched with each other.  We laughed, not taking it seriously.  But now everything has changed.  My head is spinning a little bit at the beauty of love.  Intensity, simplicity, purity, devotion.  I have a relationship I never dreamed humanly possible.  In fact, there are just too many coincidences for it to be anything other than divine.  How is it possible to find someone like him?  First of all, let me mention me.  I am a quirky kid.  I am funny and smart and spiritual and passionate about the arts, about understanding relationships and how people tick.  I am passionate about women becoming all that they can be without killing their hearts and femininity in the process.  I need high levels of honesty and communication.  I hate confrontation but will do it if needed.  Frequently.  I love to dance.  I love art.  I love music and musicians without being obsessive or overly talented in that area.  I am short.  I am beautiful, but not the in-style beauty of a supermodel.  I am picky.  I struggle with small things like weight issues and insecurity.  I’ve had a hard life in a lot of ways and have overcome much of it, making me strong and confident in the midst of the things I am uncertain about myself.  I am wary of men.  And this quiet man slowly moved toward me so as not to make me run, so as to only nominally arouse any suspicion.  In all honesty, I don’t think he knew what he was doing at times, didn’t realize he was pursuing me.  He was very unassuming.  He could write decently well…but somehow I barely took notice.  Funny.  And then after a time of growing comfortable with his existence, a small ray of light began to illuminate his soul.  First touching on a glimpse of his passion for the arts, making me realize there was more there than I had expected.  The edge of the paper caught flame and I felt the warmth of his kindness.  He was gentle with my faults, advised me that I was loved and that neither he nor God was looking for me to perform nor about to punish me if I should fail.  I peered more closely, my curiosity piqued by his quiet, gentle spirit hidden in such an masculine, almost aggressive-looking frame.  He began to tell me his dreams as if he were reading the script of my heart.  All along he had been right there, my ideal partner in crime, intent and passionate about the coals that burned in my soul.  We were twin fires.  I moved more quickly, asked more questions, invested more time.  Bit by bit, we unraveled our hearts, tested each other’s strength, searched out one another’s beauty of soul, expressed our fears and found comfort in the understanding and kindness we both seemed to share so readily.  And I fell in love.

How is it possible?  I never thought he would be one to dance.  Or to be as spiritual as he is.  Or as confident and strong.  He fights for me, gives to me, responds to my requests and the expression of my needs without sacrificing who he is.  He lets me dream, appreciates me, is not intimidated by my strength.  He is not sexist, he values children, doesn’t criticize my flaws, is wowed by the efforts I make to be beautiful for him.  He thinks I am beautiful even when I don’t.  He listens when I need to talk.  He holds my hand when I need a friend.  Understanding my value for purity, he is helping me save my first kiss for my wedding day…dare I say it…our wedding day.  He wants to marry me.

He loves me, more than I ever thought possible.  Of any man.  It feels like magic, it feels like Christmas, it feels like Cinderella soaring through a million stars.  And I close my eyes and softly smile, the thought of his love like a soft and sweetly scented pillow as I fall back awake into this dream.

He is perfect for me, treats me so well.  I have finally found love, and so has he, after a long time of waiting and wondering.  My most treasured hope for the future has finally become a reality.