I don’t think it is fair that women have to offer sex to make a man want to come close. What has happened to today’s society? Why are women so desperate for love? Why do men seem so shut down? Why is the ability to connect and love on an intelectual and emotional and spiritual level so hard to do and why do we settle for just physical? Why do we hide? Why is there such an epidemic of lonliness? Why are images celebrated and realities shamed? Why do you have to fight and strive to appear to have it all together just to not be torn apart? Why are people so harsh and mean to each other? Why do they fight for success? They think it will bring them love but in the end it only seeks to alienate them. And the girl who slept with the guy? An evening of feeling close only to realize it wasn’t real, it will not last. And the emptiness is worse than before. How can we change? What is the right way to live?
And me. How can I finally learn to connect? To trust? To love, to open up…to stop being afraid. I’ve been hurt so many times it became normal. But it isn’t. How do I become someone alive? How do I finally master giving and receiving love?
January 5th, 2009 - 5:29 am
Well…I don’t know your personality exactly, but I’m reminded that love covers over a multitude of sins! So find someone who loves you a lot, enough to overcome those times they may hurt you. The best way to learn is to have an excellent teacher or partner. :-)
January 17th, 2009 - 6:47 pm
I think a lot of this is on both sides of the male-female in the relationship. Yes, males do have a tendency to want sex but I think if someone really loved another they would wait until they are both ready, which in my case would be the wedding night. However, I think females have the same drive but funneled a different way. I think sex for females is more an emotional thing, because it means they are having that close connection with a guy. I think this is seen in many romance books and movies, especially the ones that females seem to love so much. I mean, I sit there and wonder why this woman would just give herself to such a dirt bag - and I think it is because she wanted someone there, she wanted someone to want and desire her. I think underneath guys want that too but somehow in their minds separate the intellectual, emotional, spiritual, and physical aspects of life while women see them as completely connected. I think being somewhere in the middle is a better approach personally.
As far as opening yourself up… I would just suggest to take small steps despite what you may think. Do some things that are out of the ordinary for yourself. Talk to someone you normally would not. Use gifts for God that you usually keep hidden. Push yourself but not too much, unless you now God is telling you to do something crazy - then do it anyway! I say this because I use to be much more of an introvert and still am for the most part, but am much more extroverted now. I am more apt to speak to random people and also to have conversations with females than I use too. But it started by taking small steps and also having to not worry so much about what others will think - another hard thing to learn.